Spilling the Tea
by The-Fluff-Master1882
Summary: Prompt: "Tea" Tumblr


**Here you go again, and please remember to review. Enjoy!**

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Vastra gingerly placed down her empty tea cup, before proceeding to question the client currently sitting across from her. "Now tell me, Mr. Arseshite, is there anyone you can think of that might have a motive for wanting your father dead?"

Vastra had to cough in order to gain the attention of Mr. Arseshite, who up until that point, was too busy admiring his own reflecting on a silver tray like a typical narcissist.

"Ah, yes, well the first person that comes to mind is actually my uncle, Clarence Arseshite. He and my father had a strained relationship, which was due to..."

Mr. Arseshite trailed off in the middle of his statement when Jenny came over to collect the tea tea cups and china. Vastra, meanwhile, was rapidly running out of patience as this was literally the tenth time it had happened throughout their entire meeting! Mr. Arseshite sure wasn't fooling anyone, since Vastra could easily see right through his faux facade, the salacious glint in his eyes as he leered at Jenny's backside, the way he licked his lips and stroke his stubbly chin as if inspecting a juicy piece of meat. Vastra was beyond disgusted, and could only imagine what twisted, impure thoughts must be going through his head at that moment. A fiery inferno of rage ignited within Vastra's stomach; How dare this pretentious, vulgar ape come into _her_ house and disrespect _her wife's_ _virtue_ like he is now! What she hated even more was the fact that she was powerless to do anything about it, lest she wanted to risk blowing her cover by tackling Mr. Arseshite onto the floor and clawing his eyes out as retribution for his blatantly obscene behavior.

Looking at Vastra, Jenny could sense her wife's increasing distress while she herself was, quite frankly, also getting sick of that bloody bastard's shit. Jenny was then struck with a brilliant idea, and discretely signaled Vastra to tell her that she was about to do something not at all proper. Next, Jenny approached the table to serve them more tea, where she then proceeded to "accidentally" spill the entire pot of piping hot tea right onto his manly crotch. Vastra's prior irritation was instantly replaced with delighted intrigue at this sudden turn of events.

"Bloody hell, this tea is _hot_!" Howled Mr. Arseshite like a dog whose tail got caught in the fireplace. It didn't took him long to leap up from his chair and close in on Jenny, shouting angrily,"You careless, stupid, _pathetic_ girl...just look at what you've done to my new pair of breeches! Don't you understand how _expensive_ these were, and now you've ruined them by being such a blundering fool! Hell, if you were _my_ servant, I ought to throw you out into the street naked for this level of incompetence!"

"I am _so, so sorry_ about this, Sir,"Jenny stammered, expertly feigning remorse in the face of his verbal abuses. " I-I feel truly awful, but I swear it will _never_ happen again!"

Vastra, who had been greatly amused by this whole spectacle, was really struggling to prevent herself from laughing out loud; Her heart was overflowing with pride toward Jenny in that moment. However, she still knew that she shouldn't let the situation get out of hand and that she would eventually need to resolve it somehow.

"Oh, gracious me…I am so _deeply_ sorry about that, Mr. Arseshite, my maid has been struck with a spell of clumsiness lately. I promise you that I shall personally see to her _punishment_ myself for this is absolutely unacceptable, "spoke Vastra in an attempt to pacify the disgruntled Mr. Arseshite, while wearing the straightest face that she could possibly muster. "Why don't you allow my maid to escort you out and we can continue this session tomorrow?"

Mr. Arseshite stopped glaring at Jenny to look at Vastra instead, and replied cordially,"Oh no, that won't be necessary, Madame, as your maid have done _quite enough_ for me already! I prefer to show myself out, if that's alright with you." He quickly gathered his belongings before tipping his hat toward Vastra in a farewell gesture. "Good day to you, Madame Vastra."

Within seconds of hearing the door shut close behind Mr. Arseshite as he left, Jenny and Vastra made eye contact before simultaneously bursting into uncontrollable laughter. For them, there was truly nothing more _gratifying_ than giving nasty men like Mr. Arseshite a large dose of their own medicine. However, Vastra had been genuinely serious about her intentions to "punish" Jenny for her actions, and made them very clear indeed when she abruptly pinned Jenny against a wall with her hands held above her head.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk...That little stunt of yours has cost me an important customer. I'm afraid that I have no choice, but to _discipline_ you, Miss Flint," purred Vastra in a distinctively flirtatious tone, while her blue eyes were already dark with desire.

Jenny merely smirked, tilted her chin up at Vastra, and boldly exclaimed,"Do your _worst_ , Madame!"

Thus, that was how the "Tea Spill Incident" was able to come to a most pleasurable and satisfying conclusion.


End file.
